Breastmilk And The Adult Human Body-A Follow-Up

I apologise for the delay between posts. I decided that it would be in the better interest of the 24 hour breastmilk project to wait some time after it had ended to continually discuss with my husband on the subject of his health, so that I might gain a better understanding of the effects that breastfeeding had on his body over a more substantial period of time.

So, those of you who have taken a genuine interest in this project are probably keen to know by now what happened during this project.

It is important to note that my husband started to feel a virus coming on right before we started this, so this may have impacted the results of all of this. For this reason, we will probably be recording another project in the not-too-distant-future. Well, my husband decided before our "24 hour clock" had started on the project, to have his final evening meal. He then lazed about once the clock had struck, watched some television and went to bed without breastfeeding, as he was still quite full from his meal, and opted not to wake for night feedings as he was feeling unwell and wished not to disturb his body unless/until it needed something.

So, he did not end up feeding until we woke up many hours later (I had fed our just shy of 11 month old son, who is it seems having a major growth spurt as he is feeding and sleeping a LOT) many times during the night and we woke up almost 12 hours later. He fed at random intervals throughout the day, and I asked him at various points how he was feeling.

He reported something that surprised me earlier on in the day, which was that his stomach felt quite empty but that he felt no need whatsoever to eat(solid food that is). I anticipated that the opposite would happen, being that he was having nothing but breastmilk and water-that he would quench his thirst, fill his belly, but feel a strong need to eat solid food.

TMI part here, so look away/skip this part if it bothers you:

My husband has a lot of gut issues, such as pain and frequent/urgent, liquidish bowel movements. He reported that his bowel movements were more solid, less frequent, and that his intestinal area felt much more comfortable-and this had a somewhat residual effect through the following day, though not permanent.

He also appears less puffy in the face. We are disappointed to say that we could not weigh him as the battery in the scale seems to have DIED since the day before, so I cannot say as to what effect it has had on his weight, but by appearances I would say it has been a good one.

By the end of the (24 hour, that is) day, Paul was feeling rather tired and did need to eat quite badly, but overall he feels it went quite well and wants to try it again soon!

Now, how was I through all of this, you ask?

Well, surprisingly, I did not have any milk supply issues. I thought I might have, considering especially how often our son is feeding right now. However, I did take extra iron, iodine and B12 prior to this little expirement of ours, and made sure to keep myself very well hydrated.

My nipples felt fine, too, I felt no particular sensitivities or anything to note. I have taught my husband to have a very good latch, however, so I imagine it isn't much too different than the feeling of tandem-feeding children.

How was O.O.?

He was fine. During the feeds when his father and him were at the breast simultaneously, they were both very cuddly, and Osrid is finding it very funny as well when his father feeds with him sometimes when he is in a more energetic mood-I think something about Paul's big curly hairs make him giggle. I will tell you it feels very silly having two boys giggling on your breasts!!

Feel free to ask me any questions-I will be happy to answer any comments that are left respectfully :)

A Day Of The Very Breast Milk

As of midnight tonight, my husband Paul and I plan to partake in an experiment. Paul will be nourished exclusively on a diet of my breastmilk (on tap, why not?) and water for a full 24 hours.

It is no secret that Paul already has my breastmilk once a day. I am also exclusively breastfeeding our nearly 11 month old son.

The purpouse of this experiment will be to discover the following:

-Whether my body will respond to his saliva (as we know mother's bodies do when breastfeeding children) and create the fats and calories needed to adequately sustain both him and our child. If at any point my body begins to ceases in doing so, we will cease our experiment and Paul will resume the consumption of solid foods as per his usual diet.
-The effects of breastmilk on his weight, and how it may effect his eating habits once the detox is finished.
-How my body will be impacted-weight loss/gain, hunger, fatigue, mood ect.
-How my milk supply and nipple sensitivity will be impacted.
-How Osrid Olov (our son) will respond to tandem feeding with his father-will they be more bonded or will our son feel protective and broody, ect?

I will be reporting the results after the exclusive breastfeeding diet is over. I am currently taking extra iron & iodine to make up for any my body may lose.

I would also like to answer any other questions you may have about the experiment, so please ask away-but please be respectful. All spam and hateful comments/questions will be deleted without a second thought! Remember, you don't HAVE to read this if it offends you! :)

The Truth About Bedsharing

As promised; here is the second in the series of blog installations I had planned on the topic of co-sleeping and bedsharing. This is not a comprehensive guide, nor can this post come even close to listing all the numerous benefits you and your family will enjoy when you share a room, or better yet, a bed.

The Difference Bedsharing Can Make To Your Life:

A sounder-sleeping child.
A mother and/or father's presence at bedtime eases a child into sleep with an ambiance that resonates of safety and calmness(1). Think about this from the perspective of a child: biologically speaking (think back to the neolithic era) if a child was separated from his/her mother it meant that there was something severely wrong. The mother had died. There was no longer protection from predators; especially in the dead of night when the homosapien, a (typically) diurnal creature, is weakened by dulled vision.

Despite how many times you can explain to your child that there are no lions in their nursery, this is the way our bodies were hard-wired. It is instinct. It makes complete sense then, to imagine why babies and children have since the dawn of time had anxieties associated with the dark and nighttime, and why our presence is so important especially during these hours. When a child wakes during the night, your presence tells your child that it is OK to go back to sleep(1)-a vital signal that when forced to do without, a child will inevitably suffer bouts of wakefulness and anxiety throughout every given night(2).

A Feeling Of Calm For The Whole Family
Co-sleeping has been shown in innumerable studies reduces the stress hormone cortisol(1)(3) for all partaking parties. It stands to reason that when you are less stressed, you will be more focused-which means that, in sharing sleep, you gain the opportunity to become a better parent, as well as a better spouse.

Safety
As has been demonstrated by my last post, the risk of "Sudden Unexplained Death in Infancy (SUDI)" also known as SIDS, Cot Death or Crib Death, is decreased dramatically as are many other health hazards, when co-sleeping. Other safety hazards that can be avoided when co-sleeping include that your child could become trapped in a house fire, or kidnapped(4). If you are sleeping with your child, your childs safety is in your hands-when they are away from you, the amount of time it could take you to get to them may indeed only be seconds-but it could be moments too long if something were to happen. This is not a risk I would ever want to take, and we sleep soundly knowing our child is safe in bed with us until he is independent and capable of taking proper safety precautions.

Reduced Risk Of Health Complications
Stress can cause a number of health problems, including, but not limited to(5):
-Mental illness
-Obesity
-High blood pressure
-Heart disease
-Skin problems
-Menstrual disruptions.

With a reduction of the stress hormone cortisol, all bedsharing parties are less likely to suffer from ALL of the aforementioned complications.

Bedsharing makes for ease of feeding and other forms of tending to your child.
Your baby is right....there! Next to you. Which means if your child is hungry or needs a change of nappy, you are right there to respond as soon as they begin to stir. Breastfeeding is easier, even bottlefeeding is easier. Bedsharing infants have been proven by many scientific studies to take more frequent and longer feeds from the breast at night than those who do not(7). This proves to benefit a child and mother's health in ways I will mention in posts to come...;)

A greater sense of well-being in your children.
Long-term studies following people who had slept with their parents as children and those who had slept alone showed that the children who co-slept were "happier, reported less anxiety, had higher self esteem, were less likely to be afraid of sleep, had fewer behavioural problems, tended to be more comfortable with intimacy, and were generally more independent as adults(7)."

Bedsharing facilitates a close and loving bond between parents and their children(8).
Need I say more?

 References:
1. http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes
2. http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html#advantages
3. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1083020.ece
4. http://thebabybond.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.html
5. http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/stress-your-health.cfm#e
6. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9240802
7. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-sleeping#Advantages
8. http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/Resources/Guidance-for-Health-Professionals/Writing-policies-and-guidelines/Sample-bedsharing-policy/

The Risks You Take When You Don't Share A Bed

The truth about family bedsharing/cosleeping is that it is the safest, most natural thing in the world. People who share a bed with their children sleep better, have happier children, and have lower stress levels. Before I delve into its many benefits, however, I want to take a look into an aspect of co-sleeping that not many people talk about...that is, the risks you take when you do not share a bed with your baby.

Everyone knows I share a bed with my family, and most people that live in the western world disagree with us on this practice. It is unsafe, they say. You could crush the baby in your sleep.
How wrong they are. Sudden Infant Death "Syndrome", AKA SIDS, is not a syndrome-this term is a misnomer and was once (properly) referred to as Cot Death or Crib Death (1)(2). The name has been changed to SIDS as to sugar coat the fact that it is in fact not co-sleeping, but placing your infant in a cot or a crib, especially in a seperate room, which is far more likely to contribute to death during infancy.

Why, you ask?
Safe bedsharing practices will prevent your baby from rolling onto their stomach during sleep, a position which can prove to be fatal in infancy(3). When your baby is sleeping in a cot or a crib, the only way that you can prevent them from rolling over is to stuff the crib with toys, crib bumpers ect-which can cause suffocation or other injuries(4). Worse yet is swaddling, which can carry a number of risks such as hip dysplasia, overheating, suffocation and more(5).

The fact is that, unless you are a drug abuser, have been drinking heavily, or are unaware of the baby's presence (all 3 I would highly recommend against if you are a new parent FULL STOP, much less if you are bed sharing) you will NOT roll over onto your baby in your sleep(6)! It just does not happen.

A further concern is that many parents who do NOT co-sleep tend to rely on Controlled Crying (CC) also known as Cry-It-Out or the Ferber method. This is where the baby or child is left to cry for increasing amounts of time until finally the child becomes so distressed that they learn to silence themselves. Some parents even use extinction, where the baby is left to cry and not tended to at all. This is so dangerous I do not even know where to begin. I have friends whom I have known for many years who have been sleep-trained as children, and they all attest to the damage it does: they have suffered from long term clinical depression, low self esteem, trust issues and several other psychological traumas. These and many more have all been proven to occur in children who have been left to cry at night(7). Children are not manipulative, they cry because they need something-be it nourishment, the comfort of their mothers' breast, a change of temperature, to go potty, ect. and as a parent it is your responsibility to tend to that need until a child is fully independent and ready, of their own volition, to be independent.

Certainly, many critics argue that it is dangerous to have a child sleep in bed with you, that they will become dependent. I argue this: it is human nature(8). CHILDREN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEPENDENT ON THEIR PARENTS. When you bring a child into this world, he or she should be able to depend on you your lives through. I have and will always need my parents, our relationships have not been perfect but I love without condition and know I can depend on my father (and could my mother when she were alive) when needed. I am unashamed to admit this and I want our son to know that he can always depend on us, need us. Always.

Please don't leave your innocent child alone at night, until they tell you they are ready...
----------------------------

Now that we know that co-sleeping is the safer option, let's look at why it is more desireable-and what benefits it can have to your physical and mental wellbeing. (Next blog to come shortly...)

REFERENCES:

1. http://www.prevent-sids.org/sids-or-crib-death.htm
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome
3. http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/babysleep.htm
4. http://www.creative-baby-nursery-rooms.com/sids-prevention.html
5. http://www.livestrong.com/article/165243-the-danger-in-swaddling-an-infant/
6. http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-there-a-chance-ill-roll-over-and-crush-my-baby-if-we-shar_7759.bc
7. http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/
8. http://www.continuum-concept.org/cc_defined.html

The Night The Doctor Went Crazy

To the tune of "The Night Santa Went Crazy" By Weird Al Yankovich

Down in the hospital all the moms were givin' birth
To perfect little girls and perfect little boys
When the doctor busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a clamp in his hands and blood on his breath
From his coat to his trousers, he was covered with tools
Like a big, ignorant and evil power-hungry fool (that he was)
And he grinned as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Welcome to the world little boy, now your innocence is mine!"

The night the doctor went crazy
The night that pr*ck went insane
He wanted everyone to be having a raw deal
Something really must have died in his brain

Well, the foreskin is gone now, he decided to amputate it
Everywhere you'll find spatterings of blood and lost faith, yeah
He lied to their parents and he held the boys hostage
And he ground up their frenulums as if making sausage
He got Johnny and Franky with an old Mogen clamp
And he slashed up poor Nathan who's still feeling the cramp
And he picked up a plastibell and he circumcised Norman
When he sliced off too much he said, "he'll be popular with women!"

The night the doctor went crazy
The night that *sshole went nuts
Now you can't hardly step foot in his office
Without him suggesting "you too, should get cut"

There's the worlds' Medical Associations and the intactivists
There's vans sent by the media, too
The parents circling 'round you, clenching their fists
The complications keep happening', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh, Doctor, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be a compassionate guy

Yes now in some countries he'd be doing time
In a federal prison for his sickening crime
Little friend, I can see why you'd cry all those tears
There are many doctors like him, there may be for many years
And now grown men have painful sex lives, many of them still nervous
With no clue what happened to them, they didn't deserve it
And those parents lay in bed, awake all of every night
Wondering why they and that doctor took away their son's rights!

They're talkin' bout - the night the doctor went crazy
The night mr ridiculous flipped
Sought revenge for all his own repressed traumas
Decided to hurt Babies, Daddies and Mamas

Wo, the night the doctor went crazy
The night that pr*ck went insane
He wanted everyone to be having a raw deal
Something really must have died in his brain
Wo, something really must have died in his brain
Tell ya, something really must have died... in his brain

Intactivista: Debunking The Myths Of Circumcision

"It's cleaner."
How so? When it is first performed it is extremely difficult to clean an open wound which is extremely prone to hemmorhaging (true), then a scab on your sons most sensitive parts-your baby will kick and scream and be traumatized by the changing of the bandages let alone the procedure. When you're older? Being cut doesn't guarantee that you wash yourself either sweet peas, thats up to the individual and whether they learned proper hygiene. Also, if you believe that a man should be cut because it's cleaner/easier to clean, you must also believe a woman should too because it is a hell of a lot more intricate to clean a womans bits than it is to a man's. And I hope to heavens that you would be OUTRAGED at the thought of circumcising a woman, right?

"It's only a piece of skin."
NOT TRUE. For most boys (around 77%), the foreskin is fused to the prepuce (glans) and does not retract until approximately 11-15 years of age(2), so in circumcising before then damage is also done to the prepuce (glans) and/or penile shaft. This simple visual guide will also show you how circumcision (dont worry it doesnt show anything happening. Its PG rated ;)) destroys around 1,000 nerve endings and takes away approx. 36% of penile shaft skin in the average penis: http://www.norm.org/notjust.html (3)

"When they're young they won't remember it anyway, so it doesn't matter."
Not true. OK, they probably won't remember it, but that doesn't mean it won't effect them. Traumatic events effect and shape who you become your entire life, starting as early as the stress your mother endures while pregnant with you(4), continuing into the distress you may experience from an imperfect birth(5), as indeed do forced traumas such as circumcision(6)(and many others, such as innoculations and spankings but I won't get into those yet.)

"He'll be embarrassed if he doesn't look like other boys in the locker room(this argument, as many of these, only applies if you live in the USA/Israel)"


If you're a good parent you should also teach him to be confident in his body so he won't. You should also have already discussed why he doesn't look like other boys before this situation arises, isn't this a no-brainer?

"Well, I want my son to look like his Dad."
He already does look like his Dad, unless His mother's hiding something. Why do his genitals need to look like yours? Should Mom grow a penis too so the whole family can match? Are you going to find someone to tattoo and pierce and dye your baby's hair exactly the way Dad's is too? If you lost a limb would you sever the same limb on your baby so he wouldn't wonder why you looked different than him? Great logic...

"It can be removed without adverse effects"
The foreskin's anatomical function is extremely important. Not only is it the most prime erogenous tissue(7), it also protects the glans in the way an eyelid protects the eye. When circumcised, the glans dries out and becomes keratinised from rubbing against clothing(8). It becomes calloused and decreases in sensitivity. Peyronie's disease can also occur later in life as a direct result of circumcision(9).

"Circumcision prevents venereal disease"
False. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics admits there is no link between circumcision status and VD/STD transmission(10).

"I was circumcised, and I'm/my partner/spouse is happy with my penis."
I'm glad you are happy with your penis! That's wonderful(no sarcasm intended)-whether you are circumcised or not, I think it's extremely important for a person and their partner to be happy with their body. However, just because you're happy with it doesn't mean everyone would be happy with that decision. On the chance that your son would not be happy with that decision, why would you force him into it before he can speak for himself? You are taking a risk he will grow up and resent you for what you have done to him and his sexuality.

"Hygiene will become an issue once they are old and are no longer mobile enough to clean themselves."
That is also true of women. We don't circumcise women for this fact. Nursing home nurses do their jobs with females, so they need to buck up and do their jobs with men and get the f*ck over it.

"The ladies like it better"
Sure, some do. It is a fact that male circumcision is however linked to painful sexual intercourse for females(11). The foreskin provides essential lubrication, so without it an added lubricant is often needed for comfortable intercourse and/or masturbation for circumcised males.

"A male must be circumcised to be Jewish."
Nooo. Any child borne of a Jewish mother is a Jew, be they circumcised or not. Most of the Jewish culture actually is not circumcised, and in fact many holy Jewish figures in the bible and otherwise have not been circumcised(12). There are also alternatives to circumcision such that a bris shalom celebration/ceremony can still be held without human rights being violated(12).

"It won't hurt."
Uhh, OK?? General anaesthesia is way too dangerous for infants, and local anaesthesia swells the area to an extent of making a poorly performed surgery too likely.(10) Not only will it hurt, A LOT, it will hurt for weeks to come, before it becomes desensitized that is. It may also effect your childs' eating, as many infants cannot get into many breastfeeding positions due to groin pain after circumcision. This may cause your baby to lose weight and be further traumatized by hunger and worsened pain by increased sensitivity caused by said hunger.

"It will prevent penile cancers"
"Men have a higher chance of getting BREAST CANCER (0.7% likelihood) than they do of getting penile cancer (0.09%). To argue that circumcision decreases the rate of penile cancer is like arguing that if we keep kids locked inside their bedroom their whole life they won't get struck by lightening outside. It is absurd. Yes, if you cut an organ off your body, you will not ever get cancer in that organ. Cut off the breasts, we will not get breast cancer...(13)

"I/my son/___(insert person here) am/was circ'd, and I/we/they turned out just fine."
I'm very glad, but is that worth the risk that the next child circumcised could even potentially suffer any of the adverse effects I've mentioned?

FACTS:

-No medical organisation in the entire world reccomends circumcision(14).
-Circumcision does not prevent any STDs or VDs(10).
-Circumcision is a traumatic event that can and does a person's intelligence and mental wellbeing.
-The foreskin is more than just a "piece of skin". It plays a vital role in human sexuality for both a man and his sexual partner.
-There is absolutely no non-cosmetic reason to routinely circumcise minors. If men were meant to have prepuces, they'd be born with them, right? :P In fact, there are other alternatives even when a child has phimosis, but I will rest my case here...for now, until someone can come up with any more arguments? Anyone?
References:

2. http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/retraction.html
3. http://www.norm.org
4.http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2007/jan/27/health.healthandwellbeing
5. http://www.yourdiscovery.com/homeandhealth/article.jsp?section_id=7&theme_id=23&subtheme_id=85&article_id=86&site=uk
6. http://www.circumcision.org/studies.htm
7. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erogenous_zone#Male
8. http://artofmanliness.com/2009/02/22/clip-the-tip-pointcounterpoint-on-male-circumcision/
9. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease
10. http://www.cirp.org/library/general/wallerstein/ ("VENEREAL DISEASE" and "PAIN")
11. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyspareunia#Causes
12. http://www.jewishcircumcision.org/spectator.htm
13. http://www.drmomma.org/2009/10/dads-view-of-circumcision.html
14. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_analysis_of_circumcision#Positions_of_major_health_organizations

Raise Your Children In The Following Manner...

(This is a slightly older one that I wrote on 20 August)
  I walked downtown wearing O.O. in the sling yesterday to get a couple bits from the store and some firm beliefs of mine once again demonstrated themselves to be true, so sadly and soberingly true. Peace begins with parents. Importantly I should elaborate, the state of this world is most largely caused by the way people raise their children. From the instant a child is conceived; the things that a Mother eats, the way people around her treat her (yes, that means you Dads), how she manages her stress-impact the child...Then there is the birth; which in its best, complication free, quick and most easy form, is still trauma for a child-but this is NOT the case for 99% or more of births in the world we live in. No. See; women most often go to hospitals because we are trained to trust the medical industry (and why this is I do not fucking know anymore, because I really DON'T. Not after everything that's happened.) and are given combinations of pain drugs ranging from epidurals to dangerous intravenous drugs that enter a baby's bloodstream, if they are not subjected to unnecessary medical intervention such as "routine" episiotomies, cesareans, forceps-deliveries that cause injuries to a baby's head and so much more I don't even....anyway, then a child is most often ripped away from it's mother to be cleaned and weighed and bla dee bla, and then the breastfeeding process, what is supposed to be one of the earliest moments of bonding between a child and mother is often interfered with if not completely disrupted. So much else goes on, bad things, that harm a child...and often a Father is sent home because he is NOT ALLOWED to stay wth Mum & his new baby. Then Mum & baby in many cases are seperated for any number of reasons, as was the case with myself and many of my friends, for several hours or even overnight...a violation of human rights for all parties involved if you ask me! So then its on to the parents and MOST parents treat their kids like SHIT in todays world! The importance is in "training" them. Why is the emphasis on training our children? Why is having well behaved children such a high priority? MY priority is having a HAPPY, HEALTHY child. Which brings me to the things I experienced...

Firstly, bumping into my health visitor. A woman who told us NEVER to allow our newborn baby to fall asleep on us because he might become attached to us (oh, how horrible!!!!) who told us to train him to sleep and feed on a schedule instead of when he was tired/hungry, who pushed me into feeding him formula (don't worry, I ignore all of this advice) because he "wasn't getting enough" (what the fuck?? How are you even supposed to know that??) when he was younger despite meeting his height/weight "requirements" and despite being healthy and happy. Lots of other crappy advice, too, like how we should take Osrid for walks every single day rain or shine, and wanted this SO BADLY that when there was a hailstorm in December (O.O. not yet 2 months old) and we called to cancel our appointment to come in and have Osrid weighed she threw a temper tantrum over the phone about how we were keeping him from them and how we needed to buck up and walk yes walk (we don't have a car or any alternate mode of transportation) Osrid over to the Childrens center, which is over a mile away, in the pouring rain and hail. I kid you not. She has been pestering the shit out of us lately to come in and bring Osrid to be weighed and prodded and we have been declining her "offers" so I thought I'd chat with her about why to get her to lay off without calling s/s on us (yeah, they do that if you don't follow their protocol...a lot. The UK is seriously bleak about childcare practices. UNICEF needs to step in a bit more...), basically he is healthy and happy and we have no concerns whatsoever about his wellbeing. I actually even lied to her and told her that he is eating solids which he isn't because he's not ready (we're BLS'ers) when she asked and she said oh how much, I told her a couple bites in a day which I thought was how much a "standard" 9 month old child eats, but that wasn't OK. She wanted us to have him nearly weaned by now. He's not even a year old, lady! I quoted World Health Organisation reccomendations on child feeding and she had never heard of them. Some healthcare pro. She also gave me various other detachment parenting advice but eventually ended up with her fut in her mouth because as I politely pointed out Ozzie is healthy, happy, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with him despite that we follow essentially none of her protocol. She did however essentially threaten me into making a doc's appt for O.O. to "check up on him" because if he can't be seen then they assume something is wrong and she needs to "make sure everything genuinely IS okay with him." Rggghhh. Fortunately she gave me some great news, she is retiring soon and moving away. Thank heavens. What bothers me SO bad about my health visitor is not just so much that she thinks the way she does, because sure enough, people make mistakes. What really peeves me is that she is in the profession that she is and has been in this business for well over 25 years now-she was my husband's health visitor when he was a newborn baby! She has been giving this horrid advice for this long and is a mother herself to make matters worse. I can't even imagine how many families she has broken up because they have believed her and gone against their sweet instincts to pick up their children when they are crying and oh heaven forbid COMFORT THEM, how many children have grown up to become silent, passive-aggressive adults bottling up who knows how many emotions, ticking time bombs because she has told their parents to ignore their screams in hunger, fear and exhaustion and to instead *train them* in the name of being well behaved and matching charts and standards. From the parents I know this is not at all uncommon either, this is the STANDARD for Health Visitors in this country. How SAD is this?

As if this didn't put me in a foul enough mood seeing her; when I finally got through it and got to the grocer there was another mother that was just so AWFUL I could barely believe what I was seeing. In an adjacent checkout lane to mine, she was holding a baby in one hand and had a toddler of about 3 y/o in a stroller who was crying and absolutely *terrified*. So what does mum do? She leans down to her toddler, face to face and glares her eyes, points her finger and says "Now you listen to me, you just STOP IT. YOU STOP IT RIGHT NOW." in the most nasty, wicked-witch voice. Lots of people were staring at her, I was no exception, and I made a point to glare at her the same way she glared at her poor little girl. When we exited the store I shot her a truly disgusted look and she said in her loud drama voice "WHAT?!", which thankfully caught everyone's attention, as I was not so secretly dying to publicly shame this horrible twit. So I said "you ought to be ashamed talking to your children like that, that's WHAT!" She turned about as red as a beet and had nothing to say for herself.

Then what happens? I get into a cab; and meet the most LOVELY man. He is so kind to both Osrid and I, and tells me what a gorgeous boy I have. We are talking about kids and it is apparent to me how much he loves them. He tells me how much he wants one and how him and his wife lost their only pregnancy, that they have been trying so hard for...and it just made my heart bleed, after seeing such lousy parenting. It really hits home to me that the vast majority of people really do not want their children, it burdens and inconveniences them to be parents. Then there are people like this kind man who would do anything to give LOVE to a child and cannot have one...oh, how sad it makes me. Paul and I don't plan on having any more kids, but we are SO happy to be parents, it is the best thing we have ever done in our lives. It seems to be that way though to me, MOST OFTEN (not always so please don't take offense) the people who love children don't have many of them and the people who hate being parents just breed for the sake of it and don't take care of the people they bring into the world. They put them through so much trauma, and we wonder why there is war and hate between man...If you have a child, are thinking about having a child, or are even important in the eyes of a child please think about this. The fate of the world is in your hands.

Please; raise your children in such a way that the sounds of laughter are heard far more than the sounds of tears. Show them that love and familial affection should never be withheld. Bring them up in a manner that needs are met when they arise and rather than when it is convenient. Raise your children so that they know that when all else in the world is bleak and barren they have a place of warmth and abundance in your arms whenever it is desired. Raise your children so that they come above all else in the world. NOTHING is more important than your kids.