The Truth About Bedsharing

As promised; here is the second in the series of blog installations I had planned on the topic of co-sleeping and bedsharing. This is not a comprehensive guide, nor can this post come even close to listing all the numerous benefits you and your family will enjoy when you share a room, or better yet, a bed.

The Difference Bedsharing Can Make To Your Life:

A sounder-sleeping child.
A mother and/or father's presence at bedtime eases a child into sleep with an ambiance that resonates of safety and calmness(1). Think about this from the perspective of a child: biologically speaking (think back to the neolithic era) if a child was separated from his/her mother it meant that there was something severely wrong. The mother had died. There was no longer protection from predators; especially in the dead of night when the homosapien, a (typically) diurnal creature, is weakened by dulled vision.

Despite how many times you can explain to your child that there are no lions in their nursery, this is the way our bodies were hard-wired. It is instinct. It makes complete sense then, to imagine why babies and children have since the dawn of time had anxieties associated with the dark and nighttime, and why our presence is so important especially during these hours. When a child wakes during the night, your presence tells your child that it is OK to go back to sleep(1)-a vital signal that when forced to do without, a child will inevitably suffer bouts of wakefulness and anxiety throughout every given night(2).

A Feeling Of Calm For The Whole Family
Co-sleeping has been shown in innumerable studies reduces the stress hormone cortisol(1)(3) for all partaking parties. It stands to reason that when you are less stressed, you will be more focused-which means that, in sharing sleep, you gain the opportunity to become a better parent, as well as a better spouse.

Safety
As has been demonstrated by my last post, the risk of "Sudden Unexplained Death in Infancy (SUDI)" also known as SIDS, Cot Death or Crib Death, is decreased dramatically as are many other health hazards, when co-sleeping. Other safety hazards that can be avoided when co-sleeping include that your child could become trapped in a house fire, or kidnapped(4). If you are sleeping with your child, your childs safety is in your hands-when they are away from you, the amount of time it could take you to get to them may indeed only be seconds-but it could be moments too long if something were to happen. This is not a risk I would ever want to take, and we sleep soundly knowing our child is safe in bed with us until he is independent and capable of taking proper safety precautions.

Reduced Risk Of Health Complications
Stress can cause a number of health problems, including, but not limited to(5):
-Mental illness
-Obesity
-High blood pressure
-Heart disease
-Skin problems
-Menstrual disruptions.

With a reduction of the stress hormone cortisol, all bedsharing parties are less likely to suffer from ALL of the aforementioned complications.

Bedsharing makes for ease of feeding and other forms of tending to your child.
Your baby is right....there! Next to you. Which means if your child is hungry or needs a change of nappy, you are right there to respond as soon as they begin to stir. Breastfeeding is easier, even bottlefeeding is easier. Bedsharing infants have been proven by many scientific studies to take more frequent and longer feeds from the breast at night than those who do not(7). This proves to benefit a child and mother's health in ways I will mention in posts to come...;)

A greater sense of well-being in your children.
Long-term studies following people who had slept with their parents as children and those who had slept alone showed that the children who co-slept were "happier, reported less anxiety, had higher self esteem, were less likely to be afraid of sleep, had fewer behavioural problems, tended to be more comfortable with intimacy, and were generally more independent as adults(7)."

Bedsharing facilitates a close and loving bond between parents and their children(8).
Need I say more?

 References:
1. http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes
2. http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html#advantages
3. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1083020.ece
4. http://thebabybond.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.html
5. http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/stress-your-health.cfm#e
6. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9240802
7. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-sleeping#Advantages
8. http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/Resources/Guidance-for-Health-Professionals/Writing-policies-and-guidelines/Sample-bedsharing-policy/

The Risks You Take When You Don't Share A Bed

The truth about family bedsharing/cosleeping is that it is the safest, most natural thing in the world. People who share a bed with their children sleep better, have happier children, and have lower stress levels. Before I delve into its many benefits, however, I want to take a look into an aspect of co-sleeping that not many people talk about...that is, the risks you take when you do not share a bed with your baby.

Everyone knows I share a bed with my family, and most people that live in the western world disagree with us on this practice. It is unsafe, they say. You could crush the baby in your sleep.
How wrong they are. Sudden Infant Death "Syndrome", AKA SIDS, is not a syndrome-this term is a misnomer and was once (properly) referred to as Cot Death or Crib Death (1)(2). The name has been changed to SIDS as to sugar coat the fact that it is in fact not co-sleeping, but placing your infant in a cot or a crib, especially in a seperate room, which is far more likely to contribute to death during infancy.

Why, you ask?
Safe bedsharing practices will prevent your baby from rolling onto their stomach during sleep, a position which can prove to be fatal in infancy(3). When your baby is sleeping in a cot or a crib, the only way that you can prevent them from rolling over is to stuff the crib with toys, crib bumpers ect-which can cause suffocation or other injuries(4). Worse yet is swaddling, which can carry a number of risks such as hip dysplasia, overheating, suffocation and more(5).

The fact is that, unless you are a drug abuser, have been drinking heavily, or are unaware of the baby's presence (all 3 I would highly recommend against if you are a new parent FULL STOP, much less if you are bed sharing) you will NOT roll over onto your baby in your sleep(6)! It just does not happen.

A further concern is that many parents who do NOT co-sleep tend to rely on Controlled Crying (CC) also known as Cry-It-Out or the Ferber method. This is where the baby or child is left to cry for increasing amounts of time until finally the child becomes so distressed that they learn to silence themselves. Some parents even use extinction, where the baby is left to cry and not tended to at all. This is so dangerous I do not even know where to begin. I have friends whom I have known for many years who have been sleep-trained as children, and they all attest to the damage it does: they have suffered from long term clinical depression, low self esteem, trust issues and several other psychological traumas. These and many more have all been proven to occur in children who have been left to cry at night(7). Children are not manipulative, they cry because they need something-be it nourishment, the comfort of their mothers' breast, a change of temperature, to go potty, ect. and as a parent it is your responsibility to tend to that need until a child is fully independent and ready, of their own volition, to be independent.

Certainly, many critics argue that it is dangerous to have a child sleep in bed with you, that they will become dependent. I argue this: it is human nature(8). CHILDREN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEPENDENT ON THEIR PARENTS. When you bring a child into this world, he or she should be able to depend on you your lives through. I have and will always need my parents, our relationships have not been perfect but I love without condition and know I can depend on my father (and could my mother when she were alive) when needed. I am unashamed to admit this and I want our son to know that he can always depend on us, need us. Always.

Please don't leave your innocent child alone at night, until they tell you they are ready...
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Now that we know that co-sleeping is the safer option, let's look at why it is more desireable-and what benefits it can have to your physical and mental wellbeing. (Next blog to come shortly...)

REFERENCES:

1. http://www.prevent-sids.org/sids-or-crib-death.htm
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome
3. http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/babysleep.htm
4. http://www.creative-baby-nursery-rooms.com/sids-prevention.html
5. http://www.livestrong.com/article/165243-the-danger-in-swaddling-an-infant/
6. http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-there-a-chance-ill-roll-over-and-crush-my-baby-if-we-shar_7759.bc
7. http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/
8. http://www.continuum-concept.org/cc_defined.html