The Risks You Take When You Don't Share A Bed

The truth about family bedsharing/cosleeping is that it is the safest, most natural thing in the world. People who share a bed with their children sleep better, have happier children, and have lower stress levels. Before I delve into its many benefits, however, I want to take a look into an aspect of co-sleeping that not many people talk about...that is, the risks you take when you do not share a bed with your baby.

Everyone knows I share a bed with my family, and most people that live in the western world disagree with us on this practice. It is unsafe, they say. You could crush the baby in your sleep.
How wrong they are. Sudden Infant Death "Syndrome", AKA SIDS, is not a syndrome-this term is a misnomer and was once (properly) referred to as Cot Death or Crib Death (1)(2). The name has been changed to SIDS as to sugar coat the fact that it is in fact not co-sleeping, but placing your infant in a cot or a crib, especially in a seperate room, which is far more likely to contribute to death during infancy.

Why, you ask?
Safe bedsharing practices will prevent your baby from rolling onto their stomach during sleep, a position which can prove to be fatal in infancy(3). When your baby is sleeping in a cot or a crib, the only way that you can prevent them from rolling over is to stuff the crib with toys, crib bumpers ect-which can cause suffocation or other injuries(4). Worse yet is swaddling, which can carry a number of risks such as hip dysplasia, overheating, suffocation and more(5).

The fact is that, unless you are a drug abuser, have been drinking heavily, or are unaware of the baby's presence (all 3 I would highly recommend against if you are a new parent FULL STOP, much less if you are bed sharing) you will NOT roll over onto your baby in your sleep(6)! It just does not happen.

A further concern is that many parents who do NOT co-sleep tend to rely on Controlled Crying (CC) also known as Cry-It-Out or the Ferber method. This is where the baby or child is left to cry for increasing amounts of time until finally the child becomes so distressed that they learn to silence themselves. Some parents even use extinction, where the baby is left to cry and not tended to at all. This is so dangerous I do not even know where to begin. I have friends whom I have known for many years who have been sleep-trained as children, and they all attest to the damage it does: they have suffered from long term clinical depression, low self esteem, trust issues and several other psychological traumas. These and many more have all been proven to occur in children who have been left to cry at night(7). Children are not manipulative, they cry because they need something-be it nourishment, the comfort of their mothers' breast, a change of temperature, to go potty, ect. and as a parent it is your responsibility to tend to that need until a child is fully independent and ready, of their own volition, to be independent.

Certainly, many critics argue that it is dangerous to have a child sleep in bed with you, that they will become dependent. I argue this: it is human nature(8). CHILDREN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEPENDENT ON THEIR PARENTS. When you bring a child into this world, he or she should be able to depend on you your lives through. I have and will always need my parents, our relationships have not been perfect but I love without condition and know I can depend on my father (and could my mother when she were alive) when needed. I am unashamed to admit this and I want our son to know that he can always depend on us, need us. Always.

Please don't leave your innocent child alone at night, until they tell you they are ready...
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Now that we know that co-sleeping is the safer option, let's look at why it is more desireable-and what benefits it can have to your physical and mental wellbeing. (Next blog to come shortly...)

REFERENCES:

1. http://www.prevent-sids.org/sids-or-crib-death.htm
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome
3. http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/babysleep.htm
4. http://www.creative-baby-nursery-rooms.com/sids-prevention.html
5. http://www.livestrong.com/article/165243-the-danger-in-swaddling-an-infant/
6. http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-there-a-chance-ill-roll-over-and-crush-my-baby-if-we-shar_7759.bc
7. http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/
8. http://www.continuum-concept.org/cc_defined.html